Monday, October 31, 2005
Happy Halloween
All set for a very wet Halloween night. Zeenee and Bella are going out with their friends trick-or-treating, so it's me and Budgie under the umbrella tonight. Costumes are as follows:

Zeenee: some kind of 80's freak...all pieces bought at Value Village. Quite creative actually. She told me she should have been born in the 70's, cause she's a natural 80's girl...that kid is totally me.

Bella: devil...which suits her sooooo much. She took her Build-a-Bear to school dressed as an angel, so she could have both sides of her concience on display for the parade.

Budgie: Luke Skywalker...complete with expensive light-saber (ouch...wallet hurting). Budgie was a fairy for my brother's housewarming halloween party on Saturday night...he would be a fairy, ballerina, fashion model, skirt wearing girl every day of the year if we let him. To prevent teasing(and he agreed with this) we thought we'd leave the tutu at home and he would be something more manly for school and tonight. My MIL is going "yep, that's Budgie" right now (nod, nod).

I'm going as an overworked, underpaid, desperate to be a housewife tonight...ooooh, that's deep!

Time until I'm back with my family: 1 hour, 3 minutes

Laundry list: No time for that...the goblins are coming!

Halloween thoughts with Jack Handy:

"The tired and thirsty prospector threw himself down at the edge of the watering hole and started to drink. But then he looked around and saw skulls and bones everywhere. ' Uh-oh,' he thought. 'This watering hole is reserved for skeletons.' "


"One thing vampire children have to be taught early on is, don't run with a wooden stake."


Friday, October 28, 2005
You've Been Ghosted
To be ghosted means that someone has left you a secret bag of candy at your door with a note tag saying "You've been Ghosted". The game is to eat the candy first, and then to make up a couple of bags of candy and ghost 2 other neighbors in your 'hood.

Now there's a virtual game of You've been Ghosted going on. Do you want to play? The rules are easy and it involves virtual candy. How bad can it be? I've ghosted two bloggers already.

(1) Now it's your turn to "ghost" two other bloggers.

(2) Stop by their blogs and leave a comment on their latest post saying, "You've Just Been Ghosted -- Come Over And Grab A Puking Pumpkin!"

(3) Copy and paste the puking pumpkin somewhere on your blog (either in a post or on your sidebar, perhaps) so that everyone can see that you have been "ghosted" and will not "ghost" you again. This will also let you know who you can "ghost."

(4) Link to this post (or a post of your own) for directions, grab the puking pumpkin and go "ghost" 2 bloggers on your sidebar (preferably, somewhere you haven't commented in a while or a blog you've never commented before or new to the blogosphere) and share some linky love!

It will be fun to see how many "puking pumpkins" appear in the blogosphere by Halloween.


Deep Thoughts With Jack Handy
I use this website to get really good quotes for my newsletter at Administrative Avenue. Yesterday, while working (but not really doing that...), I came across the section of quotes from Saturday Night Live's Jack Handy. I literally sat behind my cubicle screen giggling and trying not to pee my pants!

I remember watching SNL every Saturday night during my pregnancy with Zeenee...most of 1991. I was a real nightowl during my pregnancy...I didn't get to sleep most nights until about 2, so I'd watch all the late night shows. SNL was one of my favourites...Mike Myers (Canuck!), David Spade, Phil Hartman...

Deep Thoughts With Jack Handy used to come on between the skits (I don't know if they still do...I haven't watched in 10 years at least). They'd show a picture of beautiful scenery...a sunset, the ocean...and then Jack Handy would voice over his "deep thoughts"...

Dad always thought laughter was the best medicine, which I guess is why several of us died of tuberculosis.

To me, clowns aren't funny. In fact, they're kind of scary. I've wondered where this started and I think it goes back to the time I went to the circus, and a clown killed my dad.


I think I'm going to add a deep thought to every post for the next little while...either they're incredibly funny or I'm just severely warped (little of both?).

Time until I'm back with my family: 6 hours, 15 minutes...we're going to Eastside Marios for dinner tonight...we've been waiting for them to build one in our part of the world for four years...it's finally open!

Laundry list: Multiple loads, multiple washes, multiple dryings, multiple swearing...

What's for lunch?: The boss is buying lunch today! Souvlaki...ah Greek.

Deep thoughts with Jack Handy: Consider the daffodil. And while you're doing that, I'll be over here, looking through your stuff.

Another deep thoughts site: Jack Handy

wikiPedia even has a listing on Jack Handy: wikiJackHandy


Wednesday, October 26, 2005
Show Me Da Money...


My blog is worth $8,468.10.
How much is your blog worth?



So who's willing to buy my blog for $8000? Do I hear $7000? Who'll give me a buck fifty?


Sunday, October 23, 2005
Blogger Tourney...final stats
I finished 169 out of more than 1400 people in that tournament today! Yaa me!

Actually, my lovely hubby played a lot for me as I was at Zeenee's soccer game til half an hour in.

So....yaa "he"!!!


Back to the books...
The teachers are going back tomorrow...yaa!!!

Now, I've just got to pack three lunches, fill out hot lunch forms and write some cheques for school-photos.

...WHAT? They've only been sitting there for two weeks...I had no idea when the teachers would finally go back to work!


Thursday, October 20, 2005
Paigee Again
She's gone...

I only found her yesterday...and it hurt to read that she's gone already...

How do people like her parents possibly find that much strength?


...and the blog becomes my calendar/alarm clock
I just remembered that I'm in that ...blogger's poker tourney this weekend! It starts Sunday at 1:00pm our time.

I'm taking Budgie to Beaver camp all day Saturday and Sunday night (we're sleeping in our van), then we're coming home early to watch Zeenee play soccer at noon on Sunday. How am I going to get home in time for poker?

Hmmmm...have to think about that


Teachers' Strike - Two Weeks Old & Starting to Smell
Zeenee is starting to worry now about her courses and how much she'll have to catch up on when they finally go back to school. Bella & Budgie are just bored. They're keeping up with their reading every day, but they miss their friends, their teachers, their school. The school was having a new playground built when the strike started...so it sits there, half finished, leaning oddly to one side...waiting for the cement footers to be put in so it can be completed and played on by these kids who have been expecting it since it was announced last spring that their junky yellow playground would be transformed...The construction workers are also union, so of course they won't be crossing the teachers' picket lines to finish it.

The teachers refuse to go back to work until the government talks to them. The government refuses to talk to them until they go back to work. So they sit at an impasse. The government has declared it an illegal strike and frozen the union's assets...no strike pay...like they were enjoying living on that 50 bucks a day anyways...stupid government...do you think you or me could get a bill passed in less than a year? They passed this one in less than a day...and Gordon Campbell calling the teachers criminals for disobeying the law...uhm, DUI in Maui ringing a bell with you Gordie?

The majority of support from people in the Province seems to be on the teachers' side though, so that's a good thing. I'm still honking at them!

Just hoping it will end soon...


Stupid Pop-ups
I just removed that coding that was making pop-ups under this window...sorry if that created anger in any readers...pop-ups pee me off...

Gone now...all better!


Paigee
1:30 AM Paigee's heart is racing. Hospice says this is because it is working much harder to circulate oxygen through the body. The movement of the heart displaces Paigee's chest almost as much as her breathing. The sound of her breathing is very raspy, like she is almost having trouble getting air. When I touch her she is just skin and bones. I"ve lost track of how many days it has been since she last ate anything. I hope she doesn't have to go on much longer, unless of course there's going to be a last minute Miracle ( please Dear God ). I've calmed down since my emotional outburst late last night. I continue to remind myself, she is comfortable.

I found this blog last night. I have that little BlogSnob window over on the right of my screen that advertises other people's blogs and had seen Poodle Paigee advertised every day...I'm glad I clicked on it...what a heart this man must have to write so eloquently about his little girl's struggle and ultimately her impending death from cancer...she is dying right now as I type...she has maybe a few days left...

Take kleenex and leave prayers...

V.


In Which I Laugh at Your Speeding to Get To Work...
Are you really that desperate to get to your job? Are you a musician or a movie star or an artist? Do you perform daily miracles, do you solve horrendous crimes or do you spend your days looking for a cure for cancer? Because...if you're just heading to a mundane, 9-5, regular joe job like me...why are you riding my ass to get there so quickly? Are there donuts waiting for you in the lunchroom? Do you get a bonus for arriving 5 minutes early? Does the hot receptionist get there early too?

I'll tell you why I love you butt-riders so much...cause you're my BAIT CAR. We get to the end of the one lane road - which is 50km/h you know- and onto a two lane stretch...you remove your lips from my tail end, scoot around my soccermomtaximinivan and take off down the road like Paul Tracy. I follow you...at an increased speed, but certainly not at the 100km/h pace you're taking...and I shout "bait car!"

ONE DAY, maybe, hopefully soon...there will be a cop waiting for you at that bus-stop (I've seen him there...don't think it isn't a favourite spot of his), obscured by the hydro box and the tall bushes...and he'll slap a hefty chunk of change ticket on your kiester...

...and I'll honk my horn and shout with glee...and I'll laugh...like I laugh when you beat me by 3 seconds to the traffic jam at the end of the two-lane road...


Monday, October 10, 2005
When Second Place Feels Like First
Do me a favour and click this link to msn and search for the term Administrative Assistant...then tell me who's 2nd on the list...

Number 2 on msn!!!

woot!




Zeenee's Fourteen!
Half of your lifetime ago...a beautiful little 7 year old...


7 years later, beautiful doesn't even scratch the surface...


Happy Birthday Zeenee Zeeta, Little Lamb...I love you sooooo much and am so proud of you...


Friday, October 07, 2005
steeeeeeeeerike
The BCTF (BC Teachers Federation) started an illegal strike today...they were out picketing at Zeenee's old middle school by 6:30 this morning, so I honked and gave them the thumbs up (6:30 a.m. honking not recommended by my sleeping neighbours). They deserve so much better than they're getting...except for a select few, the teachers in this province ROCK!!! They're out to get better classroom conditions (fewer students per class/more help for special needs) and a much needed raise that they haven't had for years. They have my full support.

Anabella and Budgie were miserable about missing school today, but Zeenee was delighted to hear she wouldn't have to cram on a Thursday night for a Friday French test...so delighted, in fact, that she went to sleepover at Nita's house last night. Bet she'll be cramming anyways on Monday night if the teachers come back to work on Tuesday.

It's Turkey Day in Canada on Monday...long weekend...score!!!

Have a Happy Thanksgiving all my fellow Canucks!!



Mmmmm...you're looking mighty fat and juicy Monsieur Butterball...




Time until I'm back with my family: 1 hour, 45 minutes

Laundry list: It's the weekend...my washer and dryer will be whirring non-stop until late Monday night!

Traffic at Admin. Ave.: 49 visitors yesterday...another record! 25 subscribers to newsletter (10 new this week!)


Marzipan Babies




Aren't these just the most amazing little creations...they're made out of marzipan!!
(Definition of Marzipan: Almond Paste: a sweet paste made of ground almonds and sugar, often with egg whites or yolks, used as a layer in cakes or molded into ornamental shapes)

My MIL sent me these piccies in an email...so cute I could never bear to eat them!


I'm gonna live forever...

I've found the perfect X-mas gift for me...Santa Baby...

Fame - Season I...did anyone love this show as much as I did? I remember donning the legwarmers for my weekly dance-along. I had the movie soundtrack and the show soundtrack. I can still sing all the words to "Step-up To The Mike", "Body Electric", "Desdemona", "Hot Lunch"....ohhhh, I'm dating myself badly here!

I had big plans at the age of eleven to be a famous dancer. The only thing that held me back from my dream was the severe lack of training...no formal dance lessons (no, not one). I did have an awesome teacher in grades 4-6 that ran an afterschool jazz dance class that I attended religiously (you were awesome Ms. Gauthier). We performed at all the school concerts...I could have run away to New York...I coulda been a somebody...

I'm gonna live forever, I'm gonna learn how to fly....HIGH!!


Thursday, October 06, 2005
Poker Stars Blogger Championship
"He" and I are Poker nuts...we play Hold'em with my brother and our friends once a week...so when I saw this ad on Tara's blog, I just had to sign up. Hubby will be behind me at the computer that day shouting "fold!" and "go all in"...it'll be awesome...

Poker Championship

I have registered to play in the
Online Poker Blogger Championship!

This event is powered by PokerStars.

Registration code: 5926084



Wednesday, October 05, 2005
Admin. Ave. Monthly Update - Sept. 30/05
I'm really excited about my stats on Administrative Avenue. I love to watch those numbers climb daily. My traffic stats on SBI update daily at 4:40 a.m. so I jump out of bed each morning and log on with much trepidation.

Here are some stats for those of you who know what I'm talking about:


  • Visitors - August 2005: 106 (started website on Aug. 16)

  • Visitors - September 2005: 360

  • Visitors - October 2005: 101 (it's only Oct. 5th!!!)

  • Visitors - Oct. 4/05: 43 (the most I've had in a day!!!)

  • Ezine Subscribers to date: 22!!



My Google Ads are doing well. Just to let everyone who knows and loves me know this: please only click those Google Ads if you're interested in the topic they advertise. Google can tell what IP address clicks are coming from and if there's too many from one person, they'll kick me out of the program...and they can tell, they're GOOGLE!!! I'm just worried because I'm finally getting regular clicks and I hope they're coming from different visitors...thanks everyone.

I'm soooo excited about all this...can you tell? Site Build It! (SBI) really works!




Now, I've got to put out another newsletter by October 12th...off to the Bat Cave!!


Monday, October 03, 2005
Curses...
Darn you Lord Baden Powell and your bless-ed Scouting Movement. Did you ever stop to think about the poor desperate [to be a housewife] mothers who have to venture out into the cold, dark, rainy night with their 7 year-old sons for a Beaver trail hike on a MONDAY NIGHT? Don't you think we have other things to do: like teach ourselves how to make lip-gloss out of cocoa and petroleum jelly in time for our Tuesday night meeting with that other "girls only" organization you started shortly after Scouting -- namely the Girl Guides.

It's really hard to resist that cute, little, spectacled face when he requests that Mommy join him on his fantastic adventure -- not Daddy.

...oh and bring a flashlight Mommy, it's gonna be dark out there.

Time until I'm back with my family: 4 hours, 50 minutes

Laundry list: So I get EVERYTHING done last night, then ask Zeenee to bring up her's and Anabella's soccer uniforms for washing...she brings up two more loads! Mad Mommy!


Sunday, October 02, 2005
Waxing
I got this email in my inbox from my good friend Mik. I have tried this wax stuff and can testify that this woman probably DID have this much trouble. I would NEVER, EVER, EVER buy it again.

It was a cheap lesson for 11 bucks.

This is for all you shavers!!!!!!


All hair removal methods have tricked women with their promises of easy, painless removal - the Epilady, scissors, razors, Nair and now ................. waxing.

My night began as any other normal weeknight. Come home, fix dinner, play with the kids. I then had the thought that would ring painfully in my mind for the next few hours: "Maybe I should pull the waxing kit out of the medicine cabinet." So I headed to the site of my demise: the bathroom.

It was one of those "cold wax" kits. No melting a clump of hot wax, you just rub the strips together in your hand, they get warm and you peel them apart and press them to your leg (or wherever else) and you pull the hair right off. No muss, no fuss. How hard can it be? I mean, I'm not a genius, but I am mechanically inclined enough to figure this out. (YA THINK!?!)

So I pull one of the thin strips out. It's two strips facing each other stuck together. Instead of rubbing them together, my genius kicks in and I get out the hair dryer and heat the strips to 1000 degrees. ("Cold wax," yeah ... right!) I lay the strip across my thigh. Hold the skin around it tight and pull. It works! OK, so it wasn't the best feeling, but it wasn't too bad. Hey, I can do this! Hair removal no longer eludes me! I am She-rah, fighter of all wayward body hair and maker of smooth skin extraordinaire.

With my next wax strip I decide to move north. After checking on the kids, I sneak back into the bathroom, for the ultimate hair fighting championship. I drop my panties and place one foot on the toilet. Using the same procedure, I apply the wax strip across the right side of my bikini line, covering the right half of my vagina and stretching down to the inside of my butt cheek (yes, it was a long strip!)

I inhale deeply and brace myself ....RRRRIIIPPP !!!! I'm blind!!! Blinded from pain !!!! Vision returning, I notice that I've only managed to pull off half the strip. Another deep breath and RRIIPP!! Everything is swirly and spotted. I think I may pass out ......... must stay conscious ........ do I hear crashing drums??? Breathe, breathe ......... OK, slowly back to normal.

I want to see my trophy - a wax covered strip, the one that has caused me so much pain, with my hairy pelt sticking to it. I want to revel in the glory that is my triumph over body hair. I hold up the strip! There's no hair on it. Where is the hair??? WHERE IS THE WAX???

Slowly I ease my head down, foot still perched on the toilet. I see the hair. The hair that should be on the strip. I touch. I am touching wax. I run my fingers over the most sensitive part of my body, which is now covered in cold wax and matted hair. Then I make the next BIG mistake ..... remember my foot is still propped up on the toilet? I know I need to do something. So I put my foot down. I hear the slamming of a cell door. Vagina? Sealed shut! Butt?? Sealed shut! I penguin walk around the bathroom trying to figure out what to do and think to myself, "Please don't let me get the urge to poop. My head may pop off!" What can I do to melt the wax? Hot water!! Hot water melts wax!! I'll run the hottest water I can stand into the bathtub,get in, immerse the wax-covered bits and the wax should melt and
I can gently wipe It off, right??? WRONG !!!!


I get in the tub - the water is slightly hotter than that used to torture prisoners of war or sterilize surgical equipment - I sit. Now, the only thing worse than having your nether regions glued together, is having them glued together and then glued to the bottom of the tub ...... in scalding hot water. Which, by the way, doesn't melt cold wax. So, now I'm stuck to the bottom of the tub as though I had cement-epoxied myself to the porcelain!!

God bless the man who had convinced me a few months ago to have a phone put in the bathroom !!!!! I call my friend, thinking surely she has waxed before and has some secret of how to get me undone. It's a very good conversation starter - "So, my butt and who-ha are glued together to the bottom of the tub!" There is a slight pause. She doesn't know any secret tricks for removal but she does try to hide her laughter from me. She wants to know exactly where the wax is located, "Are we talking cheeks or hole or who-ha?" She's laughing out loud by now ...... I can hear her. I give her the rundown and she suggests I call the number on the side of the box. YEAH!!!!! Right!! I should be the joke of someone else's night.

While we go through various solutions. I resort to scraping the wax off with a razor. Nothing feels better then to have your girlie goodies covered in hot wax, glued shut, stuck to the tub in super hot water and then dry-shaving the sticky wax off!! By now the brain is not working, dignity has taken a major hike and I'm pretty sure I'm going to need Post-Traumatic Stress counseling for this event. My friend is still talking with me when I finally see my saving grace ...... the lotion they give you to remove the excess wax. What do I really have to lose at this point? I rub some on and ......................... the scream probably woke the kids and scared the dickens out of my friend. It's sooo painful, but I really don't care. "IT WORKS!! It works!!" I get a hearty congratulation from my friend and she hangs up.

I successfully remove the remainder of the wax and then notice to my grief and despair....THE HAIR IS STILL THERE.......ALL OF IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!. So I recklessly shave it off. I'm numb by now ANYWAY. Nothing hurts. I could have amputated my own leg at this point.

Next week I'm going to try hair color!


footer2.JPG