Thursday, October 20, 2005
In Which I Laugh at Your Speeding to Get To Work...
Are you really that desperate to get to your job? Are you a musician or a movie star or an artist? Do you perform daily miracles, do you solve horrendous crimes or do you spend your days looking for a cure for cancer? Because...if you're just heading to a mundane, 9-5, regular joe job like me...why are you riding my ass to get there so quickly? Are there donuts waiting for you in the lunchroom? Do you get a bonus for arriving 5 minutes early? Does the hot receptionist get there early too?

I'll tell you why I love you butt-riders so much...cause you're my BAIT CAR. We get to the end of the one lane road - which is 50km/h you know- and onto a two lane stretch...you remove your lips from my tail end, scoot around my soccermomtaximinivan and take off down the road like Paul Tracy. I follow you...at an increased speed, but certainly not at the 100km/h pace you're taking...and I shout "bait car!"

ONE DAY, maybe, hopefully soon...there will be a cop waiting for you at that bus-stop (I've seen him there...don't think it isn't a favourite spot of his), obscured by the hydro box and the tall bushes...and he'll slap a hefty chunk of change ticket on your kiester...

...and I'll honk my horn and shout with glee...and I'll laugh...like I laugh when you beat me by 3 seconds to the traffic jam at the end of the two-lane road...


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