Tuesday, November 08, 2005
Better on a Tuesday...and a new mantra to boot!
So no weeping today. Seems like a good sleep, thanks in part to Advil Liquigels, cured a great deal of my angst. "He" and I were at least conversing in clipped fragments last night and I got to hug the kids extra-lots at bedtime, as they were both (bella & Budge) very cuddly and giggly...Zeenee is no longer cuddly at 14, but she always gives me a big hug before bed.

To clarify about my mother. I don't hate her...I do actually like her sometimes. She is a generous person when it comes to buying things for the kids and she is a talented crafter. It's just that she goes overboard on the crafting...to the point that there are stamps and paper and cutters and brads and hole punches and bits and bobs all over the dining room, living room, kitchen and entry hall. She has a dedicated scrapbook room that is soooooo incredibly full of stuff that she will never get around to using, that she can't work in there...there's no surface that isn't cluttered with stuff. I often wonder if she isn't a diseased shopaholic. She is an impulse buyer that's for sure. Add to that the fact that she was cursed with the lazy gene and it's a formula for driving your daughter -- who is so polar opposite -- off the deep end of the canyon! She can spend an entire day in front of the television scrapbooking and cardmaking...so when I come home from an 8 hour day to a sinkfull of dirty breakfast dishes, I see red. "No Mom, I don't really want to see what you've created today. I'm a little busy with the incredible amount of housework you've left for me!"

You know what. If she and my dad were in their own little house again and we had a home of our own and we could all go back to Thursday night dinners over at Granny's, there would be so much more harmony in that relationship. If she weren't in my life 24/7 (as opposed to 27/7 like I typed yesterday in my mad rant), looking over my shoulder, peanut-gallery-parenting behind me as I talk to my kids...I could love her again as my Mom...my quirky, never been good at housework, but loves me just the same Mom.

I miss that Mom and want her back. I don't want to resent her every move.

So here's my new mantra...as given to me by my wonderful, but stubborn as I am, husband:

Being married for 14 years and having 3 great kids are not poor decisions no matter what the consequences have been and will be.

Something I have to keep in mind every time I want to run screaming from the building. Wash, rinse, repeat...

Desperate to be a Housewife

Time until I'm back with my family: 5 hours, 24 minutes.

Laundry List: 1-2 loads

Deep Thoughts With Jack Handy: I don't pretend to have all the answers, I don't even pretend to know all the questions.. Hey, where am I?


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