Friday, December 09, 2005
About the Budge
The wall leading down our stairs is wallpapered with that nubby, raised wallpaper stuff (it was there when the house was purchased) and our cat likes to use it as a scratching post...the whole damned wall is peeled in various shapes that the cat has scratched away at and the kids have then peeled the shards of wallpaper. When I got home last night I headed downstairs to say hello to the kids and change for the evening. I did a double take as I passed a certain spot on the wall that had been artfully filled in with a Sharpie pen in the shape of a Llama...(llama face!)...actually, a GIANT, Dr. Seuss-esque Llama!

Stepping into the living room, I discovered the culprit still clutching the Sharpie pen, but he was now filling in my Simpsons calendar with big black ink spots...Marge had black hair, Homer had a mustache and beard, Lisa's shoes were...well, black.

"Budgie, come over here.

Oh, hi Mom!

"Why is there black marker on my wall?"

Uhmmmm...cause I put it there?

"But, why did you put it there?"

Cause it looked like a certain shape...so I thought I would fill it in.

"You know you shouldn't write on the walls! It's fine that you use your artistic eye to see shapes on the wall, but just because it looks like a Llama that doesn't mean you should fill it in."

What?!! That's not a Llama!

"Then what is it?"

It's half giraffe, half fish, half poodle, half horse!

"Oh, my mistake then...draw on young Davinci!"

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Despite the above, Budgie made it in one piece to his Judo test last night. Remember, I had said that he loved it the first couple of times? Well, up to last night he had started to waiver about Judo. He would complain about going and wanted to stay home at least one time each week. Anyways, last night he passed his Advanced White Belt with flying colours and walked out proudly clutching his certificate and crest..."Look, part of it is written in Japanese!"

He now says that he would like to go back for another three month session and work towards his yellow belt. But...don't say "Judo Chop!" in front of him!

There's no chopping in Judo Mom!

"But Austin Powers says Judo Chop and it's really funny"

Well, Austin Powers is stupid...he obviously never took a Judo class...Judo is only flipping!

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MIL...you might want to skip this part as it involves talk about fornicating with your beautiful, innocent son...

So, after putting the kids to bed last night, Cheap Bastard and I were in the bedroom (door locked)...erm...ahem...well...canoodling...

door knob rattles, knock, knock, knock

Mom! My stomach hurts. I think I'm going to throw up!

Mom to the rescue...lots of hugs for Budgie, followed by a stint at the toilet deciding whether we were indeed going to throw up or if it was just gas...just a sore tummy it seemed...put a towel on the pillow just in case...back to the bedroom. Twenty minutes passes...

rattle rattle, knock, knock, knock

Mom!

What Budgie?!

Do we have any clothes I could wear that are British?

...alrighty then...

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Desperate to be a Housewife

Time until I'm back with my family: 6 hours, 36 minutes

Laundry List: Oh, just a little...

Deep Thoughts With Jack Handy: "Fear can sometimes be a useful emotion. For instance, let's say you're an astronaught on the moon and you fear that your partner has been turned into Dracula. The next time he goes out for the moon pieces, wham!, you just slam the door behind him and blast off. He might call you on the radio and say he's not Dracula, but you just say: Think again, bat man."

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